Keep Your Kids Safe
Wolf in sheep's clothing: on-line predators
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In recent weeks online chat sites and social networking sites have been in the news once more – for all the wrong reasons. There was the “Facebook” rapist who found his victims on Facebook, and the rape and murder of young Louise de Waal amidst fears from her mother that Louise had uploaded modelling photos to her Facebook profile” which could have attracted the perpetrator. (These fears were unfounded, as the so-called Sunday rapist who was arrested, found his victims by driving around early morning) – BUT: the relevance of Louise’s mother’s fears should NOT be ignored. In the latest YOU magazine, there is another online ‘horror story’, one that unfolded beyond South Africa’s borders.
These predators are out there, of that there is no doubt.
Teenagers and young adults are the most susceptible to fall victim to this type of predator. These predators operate in the real world as well as online. Many are under the misguided impression that they are ‘safer’ online, than in the real world and less likely to fall prey from behind the relative ‘safety’ and ‘anonymity’ of a keyboard or keypad. This is not always the case......
Predators will use every available emotional trick in the ‘predator handbook’ to attract, befriend and gain the confidence of their victims before tightening the screws and doing what it is they set out to do.
If young persons were aware of the many guises predators use, and were possibly a little more suspicious, ‘net-wise’ and educated, predators would find the pool of potential victims shrinking somewhat. It is up to educators, parents and responsible adults to ensure that young people become ‘net-wise’ and ‘predator-wise’.
The modus operandi of individual predators will vary, and the examples listed below are just SOME of those that are utilised.
1) “I am a model scout/photographer and will make you famous as you are beautiful”......predator :
This is possibly the most well known – as it has been the subject of much attention in recent years. Teenage girls are very susceptible to predators using this ploy. Sites where teenage girls are able to upload pictures of them are at risk of being invaded by predators. Many young girls seem to forget that the photos they upload onto their profiles can be seen by a variety of people – not all of them innocent. Privacy settings HAVE to be set to ensure that only close friends and family are able to view photos and profiles. The type of photo a teenager posts online should also come under scrutiny before being uploaded. Provocative bikini shots and the sort should NOT be made available online. It is these types of photos that give possible predators their ‘opening/chat up lines: “Wow, you are gorgeous. Have you thought about becoming a model? I am a photographer and I would love to take a few pictures of you........”
Teenagers HAVE to be informed that so-called ‘professional’ photographers will not be trawling Facebook in order to scout out models. The ONLY safe place for a teenager to become involved with modelling is through a reputable agency.
NB: Teenage girls in particular, are terribly concerned about their looks, and the perceived ‘ratings’ members of the opposite sex allocate to them – working on and building up the self esteem of young girls, is a pretty effective way of gaining access to their ‘life’. Telling a young girl she is beautiful enough to model and then offering to take ‘professional’ photos for a portfolio often gets the desired reaction.
2) “I am a music promoter and talent scout for Universal records.....”...predator:
If your teenager is uploading video clips of him/herself singing/dancing etc – please be aware that predators could once more use this as their ‘foot in the door’ move. As with their appearance, teenagers are overly concerned about their ‘talents’ or ‘perceived’ talents. This is always a potential minefield. Be aware that predators might focus on a young person’s talents in order to make contact. Any video clips uploaded to any sites, should be approved by parents. Teenagers should also be encouraged to report ANY approaches made online by so-called ‘talent scouts’ etc to their parents.
3) "I have ‘loads of cash’ and can get you the things your parents can’t afford to get you".....predator:
This class of predator will usually not target a specific teen, but will send the same message to many teenagers on various chat sites, and will then sit back and wait to see who ‘bites’. He will usually mention being able to purchase: clothing/cell phones/ shoes/brand name gear and other pricey articles teenagers desire (but usually can’t afford). He will also drop hints as to his ‘huge’ personal wealth by mentioning a list of material things he ‘owns’; Holiday homes, sports cars etc. This predator could also revert to ‘name dropping’ knowing full well that most teenagers would be impressed with this. This type of predator could in fact be the most dangerous – as he offers these youngsters material things they really do covet. And sadly, even the most intelligent, well brought up, privileged and decent child CAN fall victim to the ‘I really want and NEED these things’ syndrome. This predator will usually NOT make any lewd or indecent suggestions straight up, he will slowly and surely ‘spoil’ his way into the teenagers life, until the teenager actually does develop what he/she ‘thinks’ are true feelings for the person.........
Parents should make a point of emphasising this specific ‘online grooming’ tactic used the world over by predators.
4) The ‘Feel sorry for me as I am so lonely/sad and my life is a mess’...........predator:
This class of predator will play on the teenager’s emotions over a period of time, building up a ‘relationship’. This person will allegedly have an ‘illness, a disability, or will threaten suicide etc’ ALL in the name of getting the teenager to feel sorry for him, thereby gaining a hold over the teen. – This allows him to use this pity in order to request favours and the sort. Teenagers need to be aware that on the internet, fiction reigns far more than what reality does, and that YES, there ARE people depraved enough to lie about life threatening illnesses and other devastating events in order to gain access to his ‘potential victim’s’ world. Below are some of the stories a predator will use:
Cancer – and is currently undergoing chemo with a 10% chance of survival
Depression (threatening suicide unless the teenager ‘sends a photo’, calls him etc)
Divorced and may not see his children
Has a wife who cheats on him and is in an unhappy marriage/relationship
Is deaf and can only communicate via photos etc
NB: it is important to remember that teenagers can be made to feel very ‘mature’ and ‘adult’ when an older person confides in them on such an intimate and emotional level. This often encourages the teenagers to ‘act’ in a way they imagine an adult would – THIS is in fact what the predator is counting on.
The world will (sadly) never be free of predators, and technology should not shoulder the blame for an increase in incidents. The blame should in fact be laid squarely at the door of a society who for some reason will teach the teenager to drive a car, but will not teach him/her the benefits of being ‘net-wise’, in terms of online safety.
These predators are out there, of that there is no doubt.
Teenagers and young adults are the most susceptible to fall victim to this type of predator. These predators operate in the real world as well as online. Many are under the misguided impression that they are ‘safer’ online, than in the real world and less likely to fall prey from behind the relative ‘safety’ and ‘anonymity’ of a keyboard or keypad. This is not always the case......
Predators will use every available emotional trick in the ‘predator handbook’ to attract, befriend and gain the confidence of their victims before tightening the screws and doing what it is they set out to do.
If young persons were aware of the many guises predators use, and were possibly a little more suspicious, ‘net-wise’ and educated, predators would find the pool of potential victims shrinking somewhat. It is up to educators, parents and responsible adults to ensure that young people become ‘net-wise’ and ‘predator-wise’.
The modus operandi of individual predators will vary, and the examples listed below are just SOME of those that are utilised.
1) “I am a model scout/photographer and will make you famous as you are beautiful”......predator :
This is possibly the most well known – as it has been the subject of much attention in recent years. Teenage girls are very susceptible to predators using this ploy. Sites where teenage girls are able to upload pictures of them are at risk of being invaded by predators. Many young girls seem to forget that the photos they upload onto their profiles can be seen by a variety of people – not all of them innocent. Privacy settings HAVE to be set to ensure that only close friends and family are able to view photos and profiles. The type of photo a teenager posts online should also come under scrutiny before being uploaded. Provocative bikini shots and the sort should NOT be made available online. It is these types of photos that give possible predators their ‘opening/chat up lines: “Wow, you are gorgeous. Have you thought about becoming a model? I am a photographer and I would love to take a few pictures of you........”
Teenagers HAVE to be informed that so-called ‘professional’ photographers will not be trawling Facebook in order to scout out models. The ONLY safe place for a teenager to become involved with modelling is through a reputable agency.
NB: Teenage girls in particular, are terribly concerned about their looks, and the perceived ‘ratings’ members of the opposite sex allocate to them – working on and building up the self esteem of young girls, is a pretty effective way of gaining access to their ‘life’. Telling a young girl she is beautiful enough to model and then offering to take ‘professional’ photos for a portfolio often gets the desired reaction.
2) “I am a music promoter and talent scout for Universal records.....”...predator:
If your teenager is uploading video clips of him/herself singing/dancing etc – please be aware that predators could once more use this as their ‘foot in the door’ move. As with their appearance, teenagers are overly concerned about their ‘talents’ or ‘perceived’ talents. This is always a potential minefield. Be aware that predators might focus on a young person’s talents in order to make contact. Any video clips uploaded to any sites, should be approved by parents. Teenagers should also be encouraged to report ANY approaches made online by so-called ‘talent scouts’ etc to their parents.
3) "I have ‘loads of cash’ and can get you the things your parents can’t afford to get you".....predator:
This class of predator will usually not target a specific teen, but will send the same message to many teenagers on various chat sites, and will then sit back and wait to see who ‘bites’. He will usually mention being able to purchase: clothing/cell phones/ shoes/brand name gear and other pricey articles teenagers desire (but usually can’t afford). He will also drop hints as to his ‘huge’ personal wealth by mentioning a list of material things he ‘owns’; Holiday homes, sports cars etc. This predator could also revert to ‘name dropping’ knowing full well that most teenagers would be impressed with this. This type of predator could in fact be the most dangerous – as he offers these youngsters material things they really do covet. And sadly, even the most intelligent, well brought up, privileged and decent child CAN fall victim to the ‘I really want and NEED these things’ syndrome. This predator will usually NOT make any lewd or indecent suggestions straight up, he will slowly and surely ‘spoil’ his way into the teenagers life, until the teenager actually does develop what he/she ‘thinks’ are true feelings for the person.........
Parents should make a point of emphasising this specific ‘online grooming’ tactic used the world over by predators.
4) The ‘Feel sorry for me as I am so lonely/sad and my life is a mess’...........predator:
This class of predator will play on the teenager’s emotions over a period of time, building up a ‘relationship’. This person will allegedly have an ‘illness, a disability, or will threaten suicide etc’ ALL in the name of getting the teenager to feel sorry for him, thereby gaining a hold over the teen. – This allows him to use this pity in order to request favours and the sort. Teenagers need to be aware that on the internet, fiction reigns far more than what reality does, and that YES, there ARE people depraved enough to lie about life threatening illnesses and other devastating events in order to gain access to his ‘potential victim’s’ world. Below are some of the stories a predator will use:
Cancer – and is currently undergoing chemo with a 10% chance of survival
Depression (threatening suicide unless the teenager ‘sends a photo’, calls him etc)
Divorced and may not see his children
Has a wife who cheats on him and is in an unhappy marriage/relationship
Is deaf and can only communicate via photos etc
NB: it is important to remember that teenagers can be made to feel very ‘mature’ and ‘adult’ when an older person confides in them on such an intimate and emotional level. This often encourages the teenagers to ‘act’ in a way they imagine an adult would – THIS is in fact what the predator is counting on.
The world will (sadly) never be free of predators, and technology should not shoulder the blame for an increase in incidents. The blame should in fact be laid squarely at the door of a society who for some reason will teach the teenager to drive a car, but will not teach him/her the benefits of being ‘net-wise’, in terms of online safety.